Episode 1

Mama Chika abeg answer me before hungry subsidize my belle for here, Big T na wetin you wan chop, na small food I wan eat, oyibo dey call am appetizer, give me one plate of semovita with vegetable soup joined by pomo wey soak stew with two strong meat and fish, make one bottle of origin follow am based on step down parol with cold pure water. “Big T this ur order no be here oo say na you wan break the fasting wey Jesus do for bible, na the food be this” Mama Chika dey yarn. Mama Chika dis your food sweet ooo, hmmm you suppose to dey cook for oga presido abeg show face, see dat fine anty wey dey dat conner no collect money from her I go pay am oo, “I don hear oo” Mama Chika yarn back. Na em I dey press phone as I chop finish dey use style wait make the anty stroll go outside so I fit relate wit am, mama chika con collect your money oo.

“Bross I really appreciate you paying for my meal, am grateful” fine anty dey yarn. Oh baby dat one na small tin oo, hope say you enjoy the food. “Yes I did” fine anty dey yarn. My name na Timothy but my people dey hala me BIg T. Ok am Fumnanya by name. No vex oo I go like see dis ur fine face again oh abi yu dey stay we area. “Not at all I came to see someone, where I reside is not far from here” Fumnanya dey yarn. Ok na say you fit sample me your control number so I go hala you anytime. “Well I don’t give my contact to strangers but here it is 07064*” Fumnanya dey yarn. Ok na me just beep you now, I go call you later for night and make you flex well oo.

Na so tym waka pass like rat wey enter hole, I wan go watch Chelsea match against Manchester United for we arena wey dey my area.

Make I yarn you who I even be self, me na Big T as the name sound na so I be, I dey work for one printing press. I dey lodge for one room wey make brain oo, I never get motor but I dey play nairabet and baba ijebu so I fit hammer over night and ee get two things wey I no too like and na woman and food. As I put leg inside the arena na so people dey hail me oo like say na me won play the match, I be chelsea fan de argument won cos fight as yoruba people dey do wetin dem sabi pass which na to shout, my body don drip water tire because of the spit wey dem dey rain for there. At last I no fit happy wen chelsea win 1:0, that Diego Coasta na confirm striker and the assist wey Hazard do go join high through out the season.

As I dey enter my room na em my dey phone con dey ring, na who con be dis one again. Chia na my yoruba love be dis oo Seyi, she never repent from flashing. OmO yoruba hw you dey naw, you just sideline me oo. “Oko mi ma bi nu my husband no vex” Seyi dey yarn. So wetin dey for me now, when I go see you again. “Olowo ori mi ma wa si odo re lola ti month ba ti de eko my husband I go come your place wen I enter lagos tomorrow” Seyi dey yarn.

Na so we talk finish NEPA con sample us light wen I go bath, I dey play 2 Kings album wey Phyno and Olamide sing. Por! Por! Por! Na who be dat wey won break my door oo. Big T na me Silas, landlord say make I call you oo. I don hear make I wear cloth. Dis fine anty self I never call am. Hello how you dey. “Am fine” Fumnanya dey yarn… We relate well for phone de babe don dey put head down for me. Por! Por! Por! Oga landlord na me be dis oo. “Am coming” na woman voice I hear, oga landlord don dey carry over nite abi. Hmmmmmmm my body freeze wen I see who open the door

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