Episode 1

“Aro rugged you, how far?” i said “anchoring” KC with a frown on my face, “dis one wey ur face dey like dis, Prof Nwosu don nak u home and away?” Kc asked. “how u take know? guy him nak me home and away oh, what of u?” i asked, “guy my own na only away him nak me oh” Kc answered. “so we go stay for this town for another one year be dat?” I said. “naso oh, our mate go serve finish, we go still dey sch.” Kc added.

Home and away was a slang we used in our department to refer to double failure. First of all, “Home” means if a lecturer is handling two courses(1st and 2nd semester) and you fail the first semester course, that means; “the Lecturer don nak u home”. If you fail the second semester course, that means; “the Lecturer don nak u away”. But if u fail both courses, that means; “the Lecturer don nak u home and away”. In my case, the lecturer “nak” me home and away, Phy411 and Phy412.

“u get where u go dey stay?” i asked Kc. “i no get oh, i go dey come from Port-harcout, i go dey come once in a week” He responded. “me i dey stay with my cousin for Nekede, i go dey come anytime wey dem get lecture oh, u no say that Prof wicked, and him dey serious with attendance” I said. “him suppose consider us wey be spill over students na” Kc said. “u no know that man, set before our set wey get spill over dey come lecture, na God go save us oh” I said as we walked out of the sch compound.

“guy find me even if na 100 bucks make i take enter bus go Nekede na” I said. “take, manage am, na 50 bucks i get” Kc said offering me a worn out 50naira note. “u don try, u be correct man, half loaf of Agege bread is better than chin-chin” i said as i collected the money.

If there was one thing i seriously lacked lately, that thing was Money. Even 50naira was a huge amout of money to me.

I “anchored” Kc and walked slowly to where i would board a bus. What i never knew was that a bad news was waiting to be told at home.

“guy how far, chaw dey house? because the worm wey dey my belle don chop my intestine finish oh” i said to Brain Box as i got home. “guy chaw no dey house oh, we dey wait make u come sef before we go arrange chaw” Brain Box responded.(chaw was a slang for food) “because na me be una Mama na?” i said. “guy no be so oh, Tochiba no get money and me sef no get money” Brain Box responded.

Just then, Tochiba walked in and said, “our landlord come today oh. Him say make we pack comot for dis house oh, him say him give us from now to next week Tuesday to pack comot oh”.

My bad!! i forgot to introduce my friends!! Brain box was a boy from Mbaise. His brain was his most priceless asset. In Nigeria, the most cunny set of human beings are from Mbaise in Imo state. An ibo Musician once sang that, “if u are in a room where an Mbaise man and a snake is, first kill the Mbaise man before u kill the snake, because the Mbaise man is more dangerous than the snake”. Dangerous was the perfect word to describe Brain Box, sometimes he even scares me. His cunny nature fetched him the name Brain Box. He can even decieve the wisest of men. If i said he was an award winning dangerous con artist, i wasn’t far from the truth. Brain box also had spill over, but not in my sch.

While Tochiba was my cousin, he was trained in Alluminium roofing and window assembling. His real name was Tochi, but he preffered to be called Tochiba.

They were both the roomates i had. I loved them so much. But what i never knew was that we would soon be divided.

To Be Continued…

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