Confessions Of A Funnab Yahoo Boy

Episode 15

For one week, I had not communicated with my guys and it was unusual and they didn’t call me. I tried their line but it wasn’t going through. I tried the one of G-money, all his
three numbers, non were going through. I called some of our friends we had in common to know if they are aware about there were abouts, but none could say exactly about their present location or anything about them. I went to their house and the doors were locked. Na so fear come dey catch me ooo. I kept on trying to see if I could get in touch with them. Even to Mapoly and the guys there said they haven’t heard from them for a while. “My fear increase.” “Hope say something bad never happen to them,” Abi my guys don finally leave Naija!

A week later after I had started the first semester exam, I had just finished a paper and returned home. I switched on my phone. A text message entered and it read, “Guy if you are still in the house, please leave. They are coming.” It was an unregistered number on my phone. I began wondering “who sent it and the house he/she is talking about.” “ For my own house! Who is coming?” I called the line and it said it was switched off. I just felt the message was sent to a wrong number. I called the number but the line was switched off. I kept on trying the line for couple of hours, yet it wasn’t going through. Na so I forget about am.

Till I finished my first semester exams, I didn’t hear from Abisoko and Uchenna. The day I finished my exams, I made up my mind I was going to travel to Lagos to Abisoko’s place. I felt that would be the right thing for me. I waited till I finished my exams so I could have the time. I had only visited Abisoko’s place in Lagos once, back when we were in 200 level. Abisoko took us (I and Uchenna) there for his father’s birthday party.

A day after my exams, I made arrangements. I didn’t want to call Abisoko’s sister because I had her number. Incase if there was anything, she won’t start suspecting. Make I use my leg go there. As I don prepare finish come go Kuto park make I enter car. I was inside the car with other passengers. The conductor was still screaming “Lagos Eko.” Screaming for more passengers to come. Na so my phone ring. I checked it was an unregistered number which is not in my phone. I picked it and the person at the other end said, “Paddy how far na U.C.” That was U.C (uchenna) voice. “Baba were una dey na, I don dey try your number since.” I said. He asked me where I was, I told him I was in kuto park on my way to Lagos to try locate them. Na so Uchenna laugh. He said it’s a long story and wasn’t what he would tell me on phone, that they (Abisoko and him) are in Owo in Ondo state. And if I can make it, I should come that he would give me the description of where to find them. I asked if all was well, he said all was indeed well. But the from the way he sounded, all wasn’t well at all. I told him I would be on my way to Owo that moment. After the call, I came down and boarded a car going to Sagamu. When I got to Sagamu, I was lucky to find a car along the road going to Benin. Na from there dem drop me for Ore where I took a car going to Owo. When I got to Owo, it was around 5pm in the evening. “Throughout the journey, I was communicating with Uchenna on phone through calls to update him were I was.” Whan I got down from the car in Owo. Na so i carry Okada from where the car drop me come go the junction were Uchenna say make I stay so he go come pick me. I waited for about 20 minutes till a car rode pass me and reversed back. The front screen wined down and sitting on the passenger seat was Abisoko. I didn’t know the driver. I wanted to start hailing him, Abisoko. Na so he say make I hold am till we get home. He opened the owners section of the car and I went in. The car zoomed off. We were inside the car when he (Abisoko) introduced the driver of the car to me. He said his name was Seun. Na the guy (Seun) get the car wey we dey inside. He said that all of them are working together that moment. We chatted as we rode. We got to the place they were staying. It was a story building painted in white, with great outward appearance. As we enter inside the compound na so I see my guy Uchenna dey play snooker with some guys. I came out of the car. Na so my guy come where I dey come huge me. I don miss dem die. The faces of the guys I was seeing inside the compound. Me sef come dey wonder for my mind how my guys (Abisoko and Uchenna) take meet them, get their contacts, meeting the people and got to that place. There were too many people in the compound, both girls and boys, smoking heavily.

As I sat on one of the chairs in the compound, I began asking Uchenna what was happening. Abisoko came to where we were. “Baba come make we go one corner go gist,” Abisoko said. Na so we enter one corner were chair dey. The three of us sat down. I come dey ask them wetin happen wey their line no dey go through. That was where Uchenna began telling me what happened. “He said their last deal i pulled out from, after I said I was going to concentrate on my academics. After pulling down the maga and he finally paid $770,000. They had to use Banker Jide’s account to pull it down. After every processes, with agreements done. Make banker Jide transfer money nah the guy no gree. Na so banker jide disappear ooo. Dem no come see the guy. “So jide don carry money waka”. “Trust G-money nah.” They said G-money no gree and he controlled the deal and transaction. G-money said that anywhere he finds Banker jide, he will kill him. After several days with G-money making contacts with people, they traced Jide to Seme border where he was on his way out of the country.”

As Uchenna was narrating, my head don full. To be sincere, with what they told me, “G-money was a thug.” I never knew that, and infact Abisoko and Uchenna said they never knew G-money could kill. “My guys said they never knew that G-money was well connected.” G-money had to lure Banker jide in a manipulative way and killed him at God knows where. As this guy dey narrate this thing, me sef fear G-money. “I could remember he helped me when one of our house keeper’s died, their family nearly arrested us but just only a call I made to him(G-money), na so him make contacts with well to do police officials wey save me and my mama.” According to my guys, the real deal at that moment was that “after killing banker Jide, they broke his bones and placed them inside a Ghana must go bag and dropped them his street in Ibadan.” Na from there police find out, come dey find them. They said G-money had left Nigeria already.
I told them I tried calling his phone number but it wasn’t going. Them (Abisoko and Uchenna) said they were even preparing to leave the country. But from what they said, they (Uchenna and Abisoko) were not part of the people who killed Jide. Infact they said “when G-money said he would kill the banker anywhere he finds him after taking their money,” they thought he was joking. Not until he(G-money) called to tell them “they should find their levels because the police was looking for them, and that was why and how they changed their mobile numbers.” My guys said in a matter of days, they would be heading to Ghana, from there they would work on their visa to Malaysia. “They had to come down to Owo to hide for the main time because the police were seriously investigating the case.” But within myself I thought that “if my guys had nothing to do with Banker Jide and it was only G-money and his crew killed him, why running nah!” They were questions I asked on my mind.
After their explanation, with everything they had said, I realized it was the reason “Uchenna used his new number to send me a message that if I was at their place, I should leave to avoid being involved in the case.” My heart was beaten fast. I hoped that the police won’t come for me since I was part of the deal from the onset before pulling out. Uchenna said they won’t come for me provided I was not part of them who the police saw jide with before he died. As he said this, na so me look am. So they were with him before he was murdered. That means they were there and part of the murder nah as opposed to what he first told me that it was G-money that killed the late banker. Abisoko said I should calm down for them to explain it well. ‘Explain what!’ I thought to myself. “There were too many loop holes in their story as they narrated”. Too many twists and K-leg for that their story. I didn’t just know what to believe. Everything come tire me. But didn’t just want to say it out, maybe dem fit kill me for their.
After 2 days I spent with my guys in Owo. 2 days of fear because I didn’t know what would become of my life. I was careful due to police and hoping that I won’t do anything bad that would make my guys come for my life. I presume them as killers. I left Owo back to Abeokuta. After returning to Abeokuta, I and my guys chatted on Whatsapp and calls for couple of weeks till one morning I discovered that their line was no longer going. And that was the last time I heard from them.
Few months later, I had just finished defending my project and awaiting my final results for second semester, I was so happy that I had finally left Yahoo yahoo business, but my online businesses had fallen deeply. It wasn’t moving the way it should be. I was only depending on the money I had made from my Yahoo yahoo business earlier. “Thank God for my mother’s business, at least the rents we collect was still doing some major works for us.”

I travelled to Ibadan this beautiful Saturday for an ICT seminar I was involved in. I arrived very late due to the traffic congestion from Ilorin to Ibadan. When I got to the venue of the seminar. The security no gree me enter ooo. They said the door had been shut, no going in. Me sef no gree. “Not after paying N12,000 for the seminar.” After dragging with the security men for some minutes. “What is going on here?” a lady’s voice said from behind. As I turned, it was Adaobi. Immediately she realized it was me, she ran towards and hugged me. “It had been a long time we saw each other after she graduated, and the incident of her friend’s (Nuella) death.” I explained what was going on that I was refused entry into the seminar. She immediately helped out. She asked and begged the security men to allow me in. At first they were being adamant but later allowed me in. I was allowed into the seminar.
After the seminar, I and Adaobi chatted about old times. She said she was just finishing her NYSC some three weeks back in that Oyo state and was a hostess at the seminar. She said it was a friend that connected her to the event organizers. She said she was badly in need of money, that was why she did the job, and she doesn’t want to just go back home like that. Her mom was seriously ill in Lagos. And dem don dey carry her(Adaobi’s mom) up and down but to no avail. She said the doctors said it was fibroid which required a major surgery to be removed. “That same her mama dey get eye problem, she was almost going blind and that one na surgery them need to rectify the thing.” So she just dey hustle to support make her mama no die. Me sef pity her gan. She asked me about my result and I told her that it would be pasted in a matter of days. “I trust you nah, first class na im you dey,” she said referring to my result. “But how I wish she knew that I would be spending an extra year due to my past carry over courses.” “I never told her about. That one na my mind e dey.” Adaobi said she was leaving Oyo state finally the next day back to Lagos. Make she go start to find work. We exchanged phone numbers and I left.

Three days later I called Adaobi to inquire about the wellbeing of her mom. The way she sounded on phone, her voice showed that it was getting worse. I told her to give me the address to her place in which she willingly gave to me, and directions how to get to their street. She said if I was coming, when I get to her street, I should call her so she could come pick me. I told her that anytime I want to come I will call her. As I was dropping the call with Adaobi, a departmental mate called to say that our second semester result had been pasted and I was having an extra year with just four 200level courses as carry over. 2 first semester and 2 second semester. Na so I tell him say I don already know. I had already known because I passed all the courses I registered for that session. The four courses I was carrying, the units were more than the required courses to register so I had to drop them. I didn’t register them.
Two days later as early as 6am, I called Adaobi that I would be coming to their place that day. With the direction she gave to me, na so I enter road to Lagos. According to Adaobi, she said they stay in Ajah. I reach Oshodi for Lagos. I saw an empty taxi which I called. We negotiated and he took only me to Ajah where I stopped, called Adaobi again as I waited. I had already called her when I just got down in Lagos that I was on the way. Barely 5 minutes I stopped at the junction, Adaobi arrived on foot. The car that brought me was yet to leave. I had to negotiate with the driver again. I and Adaobi entered and he took us to their place. When we got to her place I met her mom sitting on a chair at the veranda. I guess she was taking the morning breeze. She really looked ill from the outward appearance. She doesn’t see clearly with her eyes according to Adaobi. I greeted her and she warmly answered. Adaobi was telling me that her mom was answering me warmly, but when she would be in pains, goshhhh… The whole house will be turned upside down. I got to meet Adaobi’s two junior sisters. One of them was in Yabatech and the other a Jambite. He said her brothers were out of town for work. We talked, laughed and joked. The whole place was bubbling. I spent about 5 hours with them before telling them I was leaving. So as Adaobi and her sister in Yaba were seeing me off, I asked Adaobi the amount needed for the whole surgery, both her mother’s eyes and fibroid. She said it was N175,000. To me it was small money but to them, itwas huge amount. “In as much that I had little in my account, I was willing to support.” I asked Adaobi that if I provide the money, would it be enough? She laughed as if I was joking and making jest of her. I told her I wasn’t joking, and I was willing to do it. She was looking at me when she saw the look on my face and countenance, showing I was serious. I told her to give me her account number, and she did. She almost started shedding tears, thanking me. “Adaobi had always been a sweet heart. I remembered when I just got admitted to FUNAAB, she would give me food, pay my transport fare to school and back. I felt I was capable of doing something so I did it.” After everything, I went back to Abeokuta.
The next day I paid N180,000 into Adaobi’s account. She called to thank me so well. Na so all her brothers and sisters come call dey thank me for the money. Adaobi continually updated me on how far they went on the surgery till one Friday that I called her phone number after the surgeries her mom underwent. I tried calling her to know if her mom had fully recovered and her number was not going through. She was the only person I had her phone number in their family. For days and weeks I kept on trying but still her phone number wasn’t going through. Na so fear begin catch me ooo. “Abi something don happen to them?” I thought to myself. I took it upon myself to find out if he and her family were really okay.

I travelled to Adaobi’s place in Lagos. It was the house she brought me to when I first came visiting. When I got there, I met an old woman who told me that Adaobi and her family had packed out of the place. I was very confused when the woman was telling me that. “No be the person wey talk say dem no get money to treat her mama na im come get money to pack out. Abi the old woman dey whine me!” But she can’t be lying because when I got to the flat, it was empty and “flat to rent” sign post was at the door. I even saw a similar sign post at the compound gate. “Have I been scammed?