Maraa

Episode 22

We watched as she slipped her legs into her shoes and carried one cheap, tattered handbag that she had probably gotten as a gift from a ceremony long ago.

She walked close to the door before turning back.
I was perplexed but pastor’s reassuring smile kept me seated.

“I will be back” she said
“Where are you going…?” I was asking when she cut me short herself.
“To have a chat with God…or isn’t it right?” she asked and I smiled, nodding like an agama lizard.
“It’s right” I said and she opened the door.
“But…” I wanted to say again, seeing how weak she looked.

I didn’t want her to faint on the way.
“And…I don’t want to be followed please” she said with a kind of finality and the door was jammed.

I looked at the pastor and he smiled at me.
“It should be fine” he said but I wasn’t convinced.

If he had used ‘will’, I might have calmed down bit; but ‘should’….ah!

>
If nothing, I knew about the story of Naomi in the Bible very well
I remembered that story lucidly.

I was taught in our Sunday school class while I was in the orphanage home that Naomi went out full but came back empty!

Of course I remembered so well!Some people suffer so that they will be better equipped to comfort others in their suffering
And what is the difference between us now?
Nothing!

But the fact that she went out full and came back empty while I had been empty all my life!
I had been the real Mara!

But I couldn’t bear it anymore…I had been pushed to the wall!
God had been so unfair!
Oh God!

As I alighted from the bike that brought me to the church- the one my doctor attended- with great difficulty, I faced the motorcyclist and he looked into my face
“Bani kudi” he said, stretching his hand in readiness to collect money.
“Ba kudi dan Allah” I quickly pleaded.
It just dawned on me that i had no dime on me.
He frowned a bit
“Me ne ne?” he was almost getting angry
“Dan Allah, ya ku ri. ka ya kuri” I started apologizing as I turned to go
My feet could barely hold me again.

I was about collapsing
The labor pains had been severe and I had nothing to show for the hours of pains I went through.

The child died!
Tears rushed into my eyes
Why my life was full of shambles and pains and calamities like this, I would appreciate if God could explain to me.

I turned back to see the motorcyclist and he was still there.

He looked puzzled as he held his chest out of perplexity.

What was he looking at so intently?
I turned to look at the back of my blue wrapper and there it was…

Full of blood!
I gasped in shock but I went further
“Sanu” he waved
I smiled
“Muje hospital” he said but I shook my head
Whatever had brought me here should kill me here.

If it was death, it should kill me there
I entered the church and fell t the ground.
I gasped for air for a few number of time before I started dragging myself to the altar side
It was a very big church and so it took me minutes to get to the front.

By the time I got there, I had perspired like a Christmas goat and was gasping for air seriously.
The pain was much for me but I endured even as I gaped in pain as I felt the hot, sticky substance streaming down between my laps
Was I dying?

When one loses blood, it is said that life is being lost.

Was I losing my life too?
But wait…

I could hear the sound of a piano
I listened more as I tried to quiet down my m0an!ng.

Someone on the podium was playing the piano
Could the person not see me?

Could the person not rise up to help