What A Life

Episode 1

Samantha was all smiles as she made her way to Rentadress Shop in Wuse II to try out a wedding dress for her wedding which was scheduled to hold in a month’s time. She was excited as she boarded a taxi from Banex Junction. Who wouldn’t be happy in her shoes? At 30 she was already worried about her prolonged spinsterhood when luck smiled at her and she met Dozie at her friend’s engagement ceremony. That was nine months ago and today she was due to be married in a month’s time. Her friend, Eno who watched her as she was smiling to herself broke the silence.
Eno: “My friend, my friend. This one that you are smiling like this, what are you thinking of?”
Samantha: “Ah, you ask what I am thinking of? What else but my wedding? I am so excited, girlfriend. I can’t wait for the 22nd to come”.

Eno: “What is there to be excited about? I mean it is good to be excited but the way you are going about it, one would think that you are the only one to ever get married on planet earth”.

Samantha: “Mr dear, I have every right to be this excited. Do you know what it means to be unmarried at age 30 in Nigeria? No matter how successful you are in this country, once you are not married as a lady, you become the topic of people’s gossip”.

Eno: “Of course I know what it means. I am a year older than you and I am not married so, I know what you are talking about”, she replied with a pinch of bitterness and jealously in her voice.

Samantha: “My dear, try get a husband. In fact, don’t worry, God will give you a husband of your dreams soon. Just trust him, inugo?”

Eno: “Abeg, pack well Jor. Na me you dey preach to? Which one be inugo seff? So because your fiancé na Igbo you too don dey form Igbo abi? Yeye dey smell”.

Samantha: “Hehehe…my friend is jealous”.
And truly, Eno was jealous of Samantha’s achievements. As childhood friends, they had grown up in the same neighborhood and had gone to the same school. While Eno had struggled to graduate as an average student, Samantha was always topping the class and was always the talk of everyone in the school. She ended up as a medical doctor. After graduation, Eno had fallen in love with a car dealer who broke her heart few months after their engagement. Since then, she had been single without any serious man coming her way. This was no big deal to her as Samantha who was her friend was also single. However, she became bitter when Samantha announced to her that she was getting married.

“Oya o, madam best lady come down, we are at the the bridal shop “. Samantha’s voice brought Eno back to reality.

More than 30minutes after they got to the shop, Samantha was still busy trying on one gown after the other to the disdain of her friend who kept cursing and hissing under her breath.

Eno: “Common, Samantha, you have tried enough gowns. Just pick your choice and let us leave here. The way you are trying on all the gowns, one would think that you want to rent all the gowns in the shop”.

Samantha: “Biko free me o, I am getting married only once in a lifetime. So, allow me to pick the best dress. I want to look so beautiful on my wedding so much so that my husband will live the rest of his life thanking God for giving him a wife like me”.

Eno: “You know what? I think this gown is perfect on you. It’s a Bohemian dress and mehn the material is beautiful”.

Samantha: “No o, I can’t pick this dress o. See the way I dey inside now. E be like say na the gown wear me and not the other way round. I want something that will bring out my curves, you know. So that my husband’s eyes will be only on me during our wedding”.

Eno: “Oh please, men are natural cheats. No matter how good you look, a man who wants to cheat will still cheat. If you like turn 360 in bed, men will still go after other women”.

Samantha: “No, girlfriend. Not my man. He can never cheat on me. Never!”

Eno: “I hear, abeg do quick make we go. I don dey hungry”.

Samantha: “Not until you pick a dress of your choice that you will wear as my maid of honor”.

Eno: “Really? Me? I thought I would get my dress myself”.

Samantha: “Don’t worry, my husband will pay. You just pick a sexy dress and all the accessories that you would need. I want a dashing maid of honor. Who knows, you may meet your Mr right there”. She winked at her friend.

Eno: “Oh, you are so sweet my friend. God will bless your home. In fact, your husband will never be attracted to any other woman as long as you are alive”. She drew near and hugged her.

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Eno got home at 8:14pm armed with a bag of the things she had bought from the bridal shop. Her mum was watching Zee world when she got in.

Eno: “Hi, mum. Watching Twist of Fate? I will join you soon, I need to shower”.

Mama Eno: “Welcome, my dear. Where have you been and what is that you are carrying?”

Eno: “Oh, coming in from a bridal shop in town. We went to shop for Samantha’s wedding dress and here, she got me this to wear as her maid of honor”.

Mama Eno: “I see and you are excited? “

Eno: “Well, do I have a choice?”

Mama Eno: “Of course you have a choice. What is wrong with you this girl? A girl who is younger than you is getting married before you and instead of you to brain storm on ways of getting your own man, you are busy following her up and down shopping. Shame on you”.

Eno: “What is that supposed to mean, mum. Is it my fault that no man is asking for my hand in marriage? Okay, what do you want me to do? Go on my knees and propose to any man I see on the street?”

Mama Eno: “I don’t care how you do it. Even if it means snatching your friend’s fiance, do it. I am tired of sharing my house with an overgrown daughter”.

Eno: “I can’t believe that you are saying this. If marriage was this important to you, how comes you are not married?”

Mama Eno: “I didn’t marry your father because he was very poor and couldn’t afford to give me the kind is life I had envisioned for you. That is why I chosed to bring you up as a single mother. When I made enough money and was ready to settle down, the stupid man had already married another woman”.

Eno: “So, why are you forcing me to get married?”

Mama Eno: “Times have changed, my dear. Your generation is different from mine. You need a man, if not for anything at least to bear his name and to warm your bed. Your getting married is the only way I can prove to the world that I succeeded in bringing you up well as a single mother”.

Eno: “Mum!”

Mama Eno: “Listen to me, it is either you snatch Samantha’s fiance or you prevent that wedding from taking place. Use everything that you have to achieve that. You are a woman”.

Eno: “You know what? I really don’t have the strength for your talk this evening. I need to shower and rest, I have had a long day”. She ran up stairs.

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Dozie was on his bed day dreaming of his honeymoon. His wedding to Samantha was barely three weeks away and he was looking forward to making her pregnant on their first night as husband and wife. He couldn’t explain his feeling but the prospect of having a little one to call him father thrilled him. His Sony Z5 rang and he picked it. “Hello, who is this?”

Caller: “My identity does not matter. I am calling in respect to Samantha, your fiance. That girl is not good for you. She is a slot who just wants to settle down with you because she is getting old. She doesn’t really love you and your life will be miserable if you end up with her. Your wedding is still some weeks away. Call it off now before it is too late”.

Dozie: “And why do you think I should listen to you? How do I know the authenticity of what you are saying?”

Caller: “Why would I lie about this?”

Dozie: “Just listen to me, whoever you are. I have already made up my mind about this wedding and there is nothing, absolutely nothing you or anyone can say to make me change my mind. I love Samantha and I am going on with this wedding, that is my final answer”.

Caller: “Very well then, we shall see!”

Dozie: “We shall not see anything. My wedding will be successful and I will live happily with my wife”.

Caller: “Don’t be too sure, you idiot”. The call went off leaving Dozie afraid and bewildered.

Question: Who called Dozie? Will he cancel the wedding plans? Will Eno succeed in preventing the wedding as her mother advised her?