Episode 9
Justin.
Present day.
I watch Raine try to heft a big box as I bend to tie Jewâs shoe laces.
âRaine, drop that, you will hurt your self.â
She stands straight and pouts.
âBut I want to show mom my new toys and gowns.â
I almost roll my eyes.
âAre we doing that? I want to show mom tooâ
Jew says and I shake my head negative.
âNo baby girls, we are not doing any of thatâ
I say as I push Jewâs wheelchair to the door, Styxx opens the door for me.
My little girl is too weak to walk today, God I can wait for that surgery to be done and over with.
I had to wheelchair proof the house when I found out my baby girl gets too weak sometimes to even walk.
I hate this.
I wheel us to the car with Styxx carrying a box of sandwiches for lunch.
I get them settled in after Raine argued with Styxx on who is sitting shotgun.
âSay good bye to your aunt kidsâ
I say as I lean over and buckle Raineâs seatbelt.
She always gets her way.
I lift my head to see Leila sitting on the stoop waving at the kids
When our eyes meet her smile dissolves.
I donât bother to wonder why, I already know .
She doesnât like that I bring the children to see their mothers grave, she believes I should just let them forget about her.
I donât believe so, what the both of us believe are two very different things.
I drive to the outskirts of the little beach town, down to the church graveyard.
When we get there I unbuckle Raineâs seatbelt because she tries to come down without doing so .
âSlow down Raineâ
I call after her as she shoots out of the car.
Styxx stays back and help me with Jew.
I smile at him and I ask him to grab the lunch boxes.
I wheel Jew over to the big oak tree and I see Raine trying to pull out some weed growing near the tree.
I smile, although my girl is super hyper, she is thoughtful.
Mariah always wanted to be buried underneath a tree.
As I step under the shade of the tree a sprinkling of flower falls down on me.
I smile.
âI missed you too Mariahâ
I say as I pat the tree.
I spread the picnic blanket and I get Jew settled.
âI wanna talk to Mom first!â.
Raine shouts and I wince.
âSweet bottom, itâs ok we can hear you if you speak normallyâ
I say softly.
âYes squidâ
Styxx adds and I roll my eyes.
âMom!â
Raine shouts as she turns to the tree.
âMom, Styxx hates me, why did you ever give birth to himâ
She asks the tree and I donât bother to rebuke, am used to her ranting about it.
Her voice go soft and I know she is connecting with her mother now.
This right here is why I bring them to see their mom every month.
âHi Mom, how are you doing? I missed you, I wanted to bring over some stuff daddy got for me but he said I couldnât.
The gowns are so pretty mom, like really pretty.â
She says and takes a big breath.
âJew is still sick, canât you talk to God and so him to heal her?â
My baby asks her mom and my heart twinges.
âSquidâŠ.â
Styxx starts, softly.
Raine continues.
âPlease mom âŠ, I donât want to loose my sister, talk to God,uhn? Uhn?â
She asks as tears spills from her eyes, I gather her to me and as she cries.
I nod to Styxx to begin to talk to his mother as I console my daughter.
âIs okay baby girlâ
I say as I stroke her hair.
âAm so scared daddy, am really scaredâ
She says and my heart breaks.
I kiss her head.
âJewâs gonna be okay babyâ
I say.
âStop crying Ray Rayâ
Jew says softly and I smile at her.
âAre you gonna be ok?â
Raine asks and Jew nods, Raine smiles and thatâs settled.
I tune into Styxx.
ââŠâŠ..if you could tell Raine to stop snoring that will be good tooâŠâ
He says.
âI donât snore!â
Raine shouts.
âYou do squid, and shut up am talking to Momâ
He says softly, Raine turns to me.
âDaddy?, Do I snore?â
I shake my head.
âNo baby girlâ
That seems to satisfy her because she cuddles closer in my arms.
ââŠâŠ.and also I aced my math test last week, my teacher is no longer a sissy because now he scolds Ben and the others when they talk back at himâŠ.., Well thatâs all I have to sayâŠ.oh wait, protect daddy and Jew and the squidâŠ..I miss youâŠbye Mom.â
He says as he steps back from the tree unto the blanket.
For once Raine doesnât say anything about being called squid.
Am amazed at my kids.
Even though they never met there mother they interact with her like theyâve known her for much longer.
Flower petals fall from the tree and I smile.
Mariah is pleased.
I go to stand so I can wheel Jew over.
âItâs fine daddy, I can manageâ
She says and I sit back, watching her stand up slowly.
It must have taken a lot of energy but I donât offer any help, if I did she will be depressed.
She walks slowly to the tree and sits at the foot of it.
âHello mother, how have you been?â
She asks softly.
âWell its Jew, the last of the triplets, I know, I know, you missed me tooâ
She says as flower petals fall on her.
Raine giggles and I smile.
âSo I wrote some of poems this week, hope you like it, am gonna be a famous singer one day, just as soon as I become wellâ
I smile again.
âI miss you mother, tell Daddy to take us with him this week and tell Styxx to stop teasing Raine.â
She says as she picks up a petal in her palm.
âMy surgery is soon, I hope to see you soon with no hearing aidsâ
She says and petals fall on her.
She giggles softly.
âTalk laterâ
She says as she makes her way to the blanket slowly.
She sits and grabs a sandwich from the box Styxx hands her.
âArenât you going to talk to Mom daddy?â
Jew ask and I shake my head.
âNo babyâ
I say as I kiss her head.
Am not worthy to talk to her, I hurt her too much.
Raine grabs my phone and begins to play a song.
I smile, itâs I and Mariahâs song.
The Lumineers âholdinâ outâ
Raine sings along and Styxx joins even Jew.
I smile as I grab a bottled water.
Am content.
A/N
So while writing this episode I channeled a lot of emotions.
Hope you feel it.
You can download the song, I promise itâs worth it
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