Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 18
It’s been two days since I kissed my neighbor and it’s been two days I am constantly thinking about her, like literally in everything I am doing, she’s in my head and even in my sleep, she appeared in my dreams. I maybe going nuts but I just missed her so much.
I know it’s just two days but with the pain I’m feeling, it felt like a year.
Not knowing what was she doing or how is she feeling after what happened is like a torture.
I cannot count anymore how many times I have tried calling her or just text her then just throw my phone away.
I wanted to see her at the same time I’m afraid.
I’m afraid for her to look me in the eye and I will see the same hatred and disgust I saw in Kate’s eyes right after I kissed her.
I’m afraid of the harsh words that may come out of her mouth.
I’m afraid that after what happened she will ignore me and forget my existence just like what Kate did.
And I know for sure that it will hurt a lot more than before, because Emma is not Kate.
What I felt for Emma was sure a lot more different than what I felt with Kate.
And that scares the hell out of me. She was no Emma, there was no comparison.
School starts next week and if only I have a choice, I will not go.
I don’t hate school, I just hated the people in it. Not literally, but you know what I mean.
That reminds me, I need to go buy some school stuff.
I threw on some ripped jeans and a white shirt, I wasn’t in the mood to look cute or anything.
Picked up my key and headed out the door, eager to get this over with.
As I made my way out of the building, a familiar figure came in to view.
I automatically stopped walking and I think even breathing.
I couldn’t believe my eyes that it was Emma I’m seeing right now. She just got out from her car, she hasn’t seen me yet so I had a minute or so to study her.
Her pencil cut skirt was hugging her legs and her button up blouse justifies all the curves she has, though I didn’t like that 3 top buttons are open.
And the way she carry that peed-toed high heeled sandals, so classy and sexy.
She let her brown hair loose giving her a fresh look, if she was gifted with some height, she could pass being a model. She’s just perfect in every way.
Her face held no sign of being upset yet, she hadn’t seen me. And I was praying it wouldn’t damper her mood.
As she turned around and made her way to the building, her eyes met mine. I couldn’t read her expression though she seems surprise, probably not expecting to see me.
She pulled her gaze away from mine quickly and I felt the sadness creep up.
She was mad at me and she couldn’t even look me in the eye.
As I continue walking she continued hers, she didn’t look at me again. It was so awkward. I even wish that the ground would swallow me now.
As she comes nearer, the pounding in my chest become stronger. I’ve never been this nervous before.
And when she was about to pass me by, her finger brush to mine so quick I almost didn’t felt it except it sent shivers down to my spine. I wonder if she felt that too.
Her smell was so intoxicating even after she disappears, it stays.
That hit me, she’s gone. And she ignored me.
The pain in my chest was too much. I feel like it’s going to explode any minute now and the tears was threatening to fall.
My feet seem to be stucked as I cannot move any of them.
I have expected this to happen and even played it in my head over and over again and I thought, I am prepared and wouldn’t hurt like hell but I guess it is different when it actually happened already.
I don’t know how long I’ve been standing in front of my building, some neighbors even said hi to me and I don’t remember how I had reacted to them, did I even say hello too? I really can’t remember.
As I began to march towards my car, the encounter with Emma just moments ago kept replaying in my head. I think it will be my thing now, like everything that will happen to me that involves Emma will replay in my head over and over again.
The look in her eyes was so blank, the situation was awkward but the way she moves has no hint of anything like that, like seeing me was nothing to her. I thought she cared about me, shouldn’t she feel, I don’t know, like be affected or something? Or was she just really that good hiding her feelings?
It’s already getting dark and I needed to hurry, not because I have something important to do. I just wanted to curl up my bed and pitied myself.
I am so pathetic.
And stupid.
Like really, really stupid.
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