Sex, Drugs And Being An Agbero

Episode 1

Opening my eyes was harder than it should be,
but when I did, I
heard voices.

Both within and outside my head.
I was in a tent
like structure made of wood. The floor was
clay and the roof was aluminium sheets. A Danfo bus was packed
infront of me.

My mouth was dry and tongue heavy. I was
lying on a piece of
rag. The clothes I was in, I couldnt remember
having. I didnt know where I was, then it dawned on me
me……I didnt know
who I was.
I sat up with a probing pain in my head telling
me it was a bad
idea. Then the voices got clearer, I was in a motor park. The
people outside were screaming ‘Abuja’, ‘okene’,
‘Auchi’…I passed
When I woke up, it was pretty dark. Some
people sat beside me. While some were eating, others were smoking,
a few had little
bottles of gin with them. They seemed to
ignore me as I looked at
them. I had my eyes fixated at one in

He had ugly tribal marks and spoke really fast. They all
seemed to listen to
him as spoke.
I tried to talk but I couldnt. My throat hurt. My
head was still
hurting too, running my hands through my head I felt stitches
and something that could have been a gash.

Touching it hurt but
it looked like the only link to my past. I guess it
was really late
because some of the guys around started leaving, others slept on
benches and some on the floor. A couple of
others entered d
danfo dat I had seen earlier.

That was when she came in.
I didnt know who she was but I knew she was coming straight
for me. She held a plate in her right hand and a
satchet of water
on her left. She was brown in complexion, with
full b0s0ms and
piercing eyes with heavily applied Tiro. ‘Eat’, she said gently like I was a kid. I had a
million questions to
ask her but I couldnt talk just yet. What came
out of my mouth
was incoherent.

Even my goddam name would
have been fine. Why cant she just say my name?
She noticed my pain as she placed her hand on
d stitches on my
head n caressed it.
‘Please eat, you will say everything you want to
later, we have more questions for you then you have for us’,
she said in Yoruba.

I freaking knew she was speaking yoruba, I
could also perfectly
understand her. That was d first clue I had of
my past. I was a Yoruba boy or I have lived in yoruba land for a
while. Secondly
and a little troubling, I liked b0s0ms. I woke up inbetween a guy on singlets, whose
snores must have
been the reason why I woke up, and the girl
who had brought me
food earlier. Across the tent were some other
people sleeping on a piece of rag like we did.

I took a look at the guy on singlets, his slightly
exposed mouth
was almost crashing into my nose. He had
bushy brows and a
thin moustache. He looked handsome. I tried to remember how I
looked but I couldnt. Then it occured to me that
seeing my face
might bring back memories. I stood up and it
was surprisingly
easy, I tiptoed so as not to wake all the people scattered around
me. My aim was to get to the danfo and look
at the mirror.

Unfortunately its side mirrors were broken.
I decided against looking at the windows
because of the people sleeping inside. The only other option was for
me to step outside
the tent.
Thou majority of the car park’s populace were
asleep. A few
were awake. Sitting on car bonnets, smoking and listening to Fuji
Music. As I walked down trying to ignore the
glares! I saw the
guy with the ugly tribal marks sitting by
himself, I wanted to
meet him and ask a couple of questions but decided against it.

Instead I saw a Sienna car that had good
mirrors and approached
I was shocked when I looked at my face. I
didnt look like a yoruba boy. I noticed I was light skinned earlier
but my face was
moreso. I had light brown eyes, almost like an
albinos. But I had
black hair. So I wasnt an albino. I looked old
enough to vote but too young to marry.
A group of igbo smokers were getting to were
I was so I decided
to go back to my tenth. When I passed by the
tribal mark guy, he
was asleep, but his phone was emmiting out religious yoruba
music. The phone looked very big and loud,
almost like a
miniature Tv.

On getting to the tent, I realised that the
singlet guy and the food lady were having a convo, he had shifted to my
position and they
didnt notice I was approaching. So I stopped
and went through
the other side of the danfo, beyond their eyes.

I was hoping that by eaves dropping, I would hear some clues of
who I was.

Food girl: what if somebody wakes up or just
enters the tent, you
know Alhaji has said no park boy should have
se*x here

Singlet boy: But I wanna have se*x, Alhaji is in d
hotel opposite us
with two girls, because he can afford it.
you know this job
requires renewal of the body every now and

Food girl: so I am what?..a thing for renewal?

Singlet guy: No, you are my future wife na, as
soon as I have a
bus of my own. You know since that guy came,
we have not been
having regular se*x o. Hearing him refer to me, I got excited,
expected her to say
something that will trigger more info. I was

Food girl: oya come , before you go and sleep
with Bose again, saying its because of starvation.

As she said this, he smiled and watch her fold
up her skirt to
reveal white lace p@anties. I didnt expect that
she would look that
clean beneath.

He hurriedly pulled down his sokoto to reveal a
chelsea adorned boxers. As she pulled her
p@anties, he was.
alreading waiting to meet her.

I realised there was a swelling in my ugly
looking trousers. Then she m0aned as he penetrated her

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