Single But Living Married

Episode 1

“You see snakie, u need to go to the university,
dont be deceived by the money that’s coming
your way now, you will have plenty of money
when you graduate. As for the girls, there are
many of them in the university. Big, small, thin,
fat, dark or light skinned…you will get them
plentiful. ….just try and gain admission and you
will see that girls will start coming your way
unlike this one you are disturbing yourself with
presently”……..(My uncle advise)
I was surprised hearing from my uncle who
graduated from the university two years earlier
that I will get enough girls to bleep once I gain
admission into the university….”so, na how
babes plenty 4 those university b dis? Then I
must gain admission for me to get enuf
bleeping” I said to myself…
Fastforward to some months after, I already
passed my jamb and eventually gained
admission after my name came out on the final
list. This was not after we knew somebody that
knows someone and connected us to somebody
that knows the right person and was able to
give tips to that right person before my name
came out…..This was more reason I was
frustrated about university in the first place cos
how will u explained someone that scored 253
in jamb and had all his SSCE result completed
but still has to tip someone before he could gain
admission.
A night before my first day in school, my
mother called me to advise me…… (I will say
this in yoruba and translate)
“snakie, eti e melo…”meji ni ma”…..kilo fi
nse….”mo fi ngboro ni ma”…….jhoor oko mi,
owo oniru, owo oniyo ati owo alata la fe fi ran e
lo si ile iwe…..to ba de skool, ranti omo eni to
nse, ma kegbe kegbe, ma rin rin kurin, iwe e ni
ko koju mo…..eyi to se pataki ju nipe, ma
kobinrin, ma ba won ni girlfriend kaakiri, koju
mo iwe e….even to ba ma lobinrin, eyokan ti to
e, de je ki nmo……oko mi, sori awa obinrin, idi o
yato sidi ooo, oju ni gbogbo eyin okunrin ma
ndo, eyin okunrin le ni orisirisi oko but iho kan
na lowa lara awa obinrin……..so, ma tele oju kiri,
to ba ti nikan, gbamu daada ko de ma tele fine
face kaakiri”…….”mo ti gbo ma, e seun ma”
Meaning…….”Snakie, hw many ears do u
have…”two ma”…what are they mearnt
for?…”to listen ma”…my son, the money we are
using to send you to school is from our hard
earned sweat, when you get to school, pls
remember the child of whom you are, dont join
bad gangs, dont go to where you are not
suppose to be, focus on your book pls and the
most important thing is that you should never
follow girls….even if you want to have girlfriend,
one is okay for you and you can let me know
her, you know one thing aboug girls is that, our
Kitty-Cat are not different from each other, its
faces that you guys bleep (u see different fine
girls and u want to bleep her but in reality its
the same Kitty-Cat she has that your girlfriend
have too), we are not like you guys that have
different sizes of d!ckson, all ladies have just one
hole….pls my son, dont follow face and be
bleeping all around, when you get the perfect
person pls be ohk with her my son……”thank
you ma, have heard all what you said and I
wont disappoint you ma.”…I replied”
My mind was like a tabula rasa when I resumed
school, I knew I was a brilliant student way
back in my secondary school days but after
waiting over four years for admission, everytyn
has disappeared. ….school started smoothly
and I was coming from home to school as my
school had no hostel way back then, I mingled
with so many people in school just because all
freshers received faculty course in the same hall
while departmental courses were taken once in
a while.

As time goes on, I started getting to know
people from my facaulty and eeoartment but
not so close to any1 aside Bola who we always
go home together in the same bus even though
we don’t leave in the same area….didnt take
long b4 I got use to bola. From going home
together, we started mingling in school,
keeping seat for each other during lectures,
hanging around all the time.
I was trying to cope with school activities and
assignments were coming in without having
idea of how to go about it but thanks to segun
who was my helping hand. Segun has been a
friend since my primary school days and he was
the headboy in our secondary school…he was
already in 300level studing elect/elect in
another university in the state. Every night, I
come home with my assignment, dashed to
segun’s house in the get assignments solved,
take it to school the following day and bola will
b the first to copy assignment from me before
any other person. I tend to always sort segun
out every weekend with recharge cards.
Like play like play, people started noticing me
as the first person to solve any assignment
relating to calculations and some tend to always
come and ask me for my assignment. I became
a bit popular among girls and some guys. This
made them to start challenging me to explain
solutions to them including Bola. Only if they
knew the person that has been helping me out
was Segun, Bola always make shakara as her
close pal was the one everybody always wanted
to learn from……I don enter am as I no fit derep
nor belittle mysef…..