Episode 16

SHARON

What do you do when the one person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain? How can I want so desperately for him to wrap me up in his arms but also want so much for him to leave me alone? Love is never su pposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living f—–g worthwhile. I did the searching and remembering, she did the disappearing and ~the forgetting. The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.

To make one person the center of your world is bound to end in disaster. There are too man~ y factors outside your control. It hurts to love. It’s like giving yourself to be flayed and knowing that at any moment the other person may just walk off with your skin.

as I entered the house, I found my birthday cake on the table. there were gifts on the table next to my cake, I opened the first box, it was a beautiful dress and matched shoes …

oh my God ” I whispered.

I went to my room and found him sleeping peacefully. I got a call from Andrew.

hey ” I answered

hope you got home safely ” he asked

yes, thank you for the best birthday” I said

you deserve the all world my queen” he said

I want the world” I giggled

I will get you that my queen ” he said

am sleepy my love, can we talk Tomorrow ” I said

I love you” he said

Goodnight” I hung up

I took a shower and joined Caleb in bed, how am I going to explain to him. I woke up very early and prepare jr for school. I stood by the bus station as we waited for the bus.

mummy where were you? ” he asked

when darling ” I asked

yesterday, daddy planned a beautiful day for you ” he said

I know baby I saw it ” I said it.

the bus came and picked him up.

as I was about to walk away a car stopped.

hey beautiful” he said

hi ” I said

where are you heading to? ” he asked

home ” I said

do you mind taking you? ” he said

no thank you sir am already home” I said

am Anthony “he said

okay Anthony” I said

what’s your name ” he asked

am Rose ” I said

do you mind giving me your line Rose? ” he asked

I have somewhere to be ” I said

your number and I won’t bother you ” he said

I knew this man wasn’t going to give up so I gave him my line and I went back home. I found Caleb watching TV.

morning babe ” I said

he was quite

babe,” I said

he got up and I followed him.

babe please hear me out ” I said

hear what Sharon that you lied about you being with maria, maria was here looking for you ” he said

oh sheet ” I thought to myself.

where did you go? ” he asked

okay fine, I went to the boutique” I said

boutique didn’t I get you people to help you with the boutique ” he asked

yes, but you want those girls to steal from me ” I asked

I trust those girls ” he said

are you sleeping with those girls? ” I asked

excuse me ” he asked.

you have heard ” i said

Sharon even if you starve me forever, I wouldn’t go looking for anybody to satisfy me ” he said.

I know I cheat but I forgot the rules that never make your partner feel left out …

let me go watch soccer I have work later. I grabbed his hand and I pinned him to the wall.

I started kissing him …the sex I gave him, I doubt he will work properly.

I was thinking of having another little one ” he said

Caleb why ” I asked

mi amor, look I even told you when you were pregnant with malumbo that I want a lot of kids ” he said stroking my hair.

a baby will ruin my life now.

am not ready for a third baby ” I said

when. will you be ready? ”he asked

I will let you know and you know that I will be going for attachments soon ” I said

your attachment won’t you be doing them here” he asked

I was thinking kabwe” I said

for how long” he asked.

a month” I said

that’s far amor, you know you are a mother what will happen to the boys ” he asked

it’s not like you won’t be around” I said

Sharon you are not going anywhere, are you going mad, malumbo is 3 he is still a baby ” he said

he is a boy, baby you can’t take care of him, why are you selfish” I yelled

he got up and put on his boxer and looked at me.

it’s not fair ” I said

Sharon you call me selfish, I work my butt off to put food on the table, to take you to school. you drive an expensive car, your clothes, and you are here saying am selfish” he asked

when Caleb is upset, he will call me my name …

I can’t go for attachments because of my kids really am going to kabwe” I said

you are foolish Sharon ” he said

I slapped him.

never in your life call me that, I sacrificed my family because of you and here you are calling me foolish “I said

I miss my wife this woman right here is not my wife “he said walking out.

I broke down, when I calmed down, I got ready and went to the mall to meet maria.

chitalu has grown” I said looking at her son.

you don’t want to come and see him, next time you will hear that he is married” she said

I have been busy ” I said

with what ” she asked

life ” I said

my phone rung and it was Andrew, I ignored it.

you fought with Caleb” she asked

I nodded

instead of talking to him you are here ignoring his calls ” she said

he doesn’t want me to go to kabwe ” I said

what’s in kabwe ” she asked.

my attachments” I said

Andrew kept on calling.

why can’t you do them from here ” she asked

kabwe is better ” she said

Sharon do you want to find another woman taking care of you family” she asked

God forbid will that happen” I said

wait, you will know God ” she said

the reason why I want to go to kabwe it’s because a man I met last week works in kabwe and I wanted to be with him.

“babe what’s going on, I haven’t seen you in a week am going crazy please call me back, I miss you so much ” Andrew.

I clicked my tongue. I didn’t start sleeping with him because I wanted love, I slept with him because I wanted just wanted to for fun.