Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy

Episode 22

Sitting on the old rusty seat of the Bus, I rested my
head on the seat in front of me hoping the person
sitting there doesn’t rest his back.. I was lost in
thoughts.. Reminisced all what happened between
me and faith, that smile, those butterflies, those
moments, those words,That kiss!!!!! those times
and hell!!.. I could smell her Body Spray(perfume)
all over me…

“Smell your hands and perceive her pussay
scent!!!”.. My mind exclaimed.. Ok, I agree I am
weird, or a reeetaaarden.. Because I kept my
fingers in my nose for like minutes I can’t
remember but all I know was my hands still smelled
of her.. Dear Married Women, you wanna know
if your husband cheated? … Smell his
D…IC…K!!!!! It can never go wrong I teyu
.(That was a joke I swear!.. Anyone laughed?
)
“FARA PARK!!!”.. I heard the driver shouted,
because he was playing some dum..b christmas
carol song on his dead stereo (or maybe it was a
radio)..
“OWAH!!!” (Normal slang in lagos meaning “E DEY
or AVAILAIBLE” .. Funny I went to Calabar some
weeks ago shouting OWAH inside city Bus )
Damn! Omoni Oboli is hot AF!!!!!.. Met her few mins ago #OutOfContext
Suprisingly, the security man didn’t stop me to ask
who I was.. Perhaps the one on duty was a friend of
mine (I played, joke with everyone, even the
beggars on the street )..
Walking on the lonely streets, I almost forgot it was
christmas(Public Holiday) as I was suprised how
scanty it was..
Uncle’s house was like 20mins walk(or so I thought)
from the gate, but it was nothing to me since it gave
me the chance to think and experiment the
environments as I tried forgetting my Faith.. (MY?
, shey I knew she wasn’t mine some hours ago
self?)
I was still enjoying my walking(If ah hear say I
enjoy am.. When my legs were inside some tight
shoes?) when I saw a white Toyota Camry pass me,
I was so sure it was the car I saw at the party, and
it entered the next street(or CLOSE as it is called
there.. I.e Danladii Close, Phemswag( ) Close etc) I
was supposed to enter.

“Na She dem carry pass so oh! See yourlife? She
even first you reach house”.. Sad enough, it was my
mind that was telling me this. I thought we were
partners nah
Two or some minutes later, the car passed me
again, going out of the estate but it horned at me
and I just waved like I knew who he was. Maybe I
knew him on twitter, because most of her followers
were in the party(thanks to her tweets about it) but
who send? All I know Is I waved back. My mind
wanted to think it was KEN but I shut it out
sharperly.
At the gate, I knocked for 1 or 2 minutes(In Fiction:
I knocked for 2hours!!!! ) before Abigail opened
the door.
“Hey! Merry Christmas” I said while trying to
swerve my mouth from her nose ( )
“Same to you”.. She replied as she turned around to
go back to whatever she was doing.. (NO! I didn’t
look at her A$$) .. Only thing on my mind was how
I would stay in the same house with people I have
problems with but I nor go lie, I try compare the
yannxh small .
“Joyce cheated on my bros, Esther probably still
angry because I saw her Unclad, Faith!! Ohhhh
faith!!!! ..” My mind went in deep as I tried not
thinking..

Must have been drugged or something because I
didn’t believe I could sleep in my mental state. I
remember passing through the empty sitting room,
straight to my room, I remember brushing my teeth
but I didn’t remember how I slept…
Faaawwwwk! I slept with those wet boxers? …
(No! I am not dirty, that’s I why I wrote
“Faaawwwwk” there .
I woke up though…… Ofcourse in a bed!! (I be like
AceHood for eyes? I woke up in a new….
Bonedattin ). But I was having a hangover, that’s
gotta be my first hangover right?
11am was what I saw on my phone that was
already showing red Bar, rushed down to the
kitchen to wash plates(or dishes as I was taught)
before someone starts shouting(How did I forget
she wouldn’t shout because I had her in my palms?

MYSTERY!!!!)
Getting to the kitchen, I saw something that
happens only when my Uncle’s Mum comes for
visitation(I admit.. I loved her style ) .. Someone
else was washing the dishes .. I didn’t see the
face yet but my mind started shouting “Na she! Na
she!! Na she!!! Na Joyce!!!!”. How it knew, I can’t
tell till tomorrow.

“Aunty Good morning” I said as I was convincing
myself not to be shocked..
“Morning.. Merry christmas” she said as she looked
back to check me out ( make I encourage myself
first.. Dem say lizard wey fall from 12storey
building dey shake head for himself first before he
move.. So, she was checking me out!!!!! )