Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy

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Episode 1

NewTwitterNotification: “Danlad wassup?, You
coming to the GIG at Michael’s house?”
This was a DM(DirectMessage) I got from Asamoah
on the 24th of december 2012. Asamoah whom I
call “A$AP Blackey” was my very first Ghanian
friend, he was tall, dark(y’all know) and he was
from a rich background, 4th and the only son out of
the family of 8 (5kids, 2wives, 1Husband). At
17(same age as I was), Asamoah already knew how
to drive as he blackmailed the drivers into giving
him car keys to go anywhere he wanted.

Cut the details short, he was a spoilt brat lost in a
Garden city belonging to victoria (VGC).
Michael was Asamoah’s snr in school (Greensprings
to be precise). Did I tell you how endowed
asamoah’s sisters were? I don’t know how they do
the magic but Ghanian girls rock!!!!!!!.

Well, back to reality .
Me: “Dude, I am broke, my Uncle travelled and I got
no Tfare, talkless of tickets to enter Micheal’s
party”
Asamoah: ”Lol! Ur 419 uncle don run from EFCC
again? No worry, I go come pick you, and ticket is a
Boy n a Girl”
Asamoah: “Abeg I beg you, no carry babe wey u get
feelings for come oh!, heard there will be pools and
lotta empty rooms”
Asamoah: “Sha check the details @ my last tweet”
At this point, as a young cultured boy from a
humble home, I was wondering: “what type of event
centre do pools and rooms?”. Mind you, I attended a
government school(Secondary) somewhere in Ajah,
Lagos. Recently moved in with my uncle to assist
him in his business, and the only time I got to touch
the Steering of his Honda EOD and Toyota Prado
was when I was washing the cars. Trust me, I wash
car sotey I almost went to PEAK Talent show to
showcase my car washing talent . Ohh! Did I tell
you that Kida Kudz was Michael’s buddy?
However, the new question now is: “How Did I get
to associate with these rich kids?” Lol!, Shoutout to
RCCG City Of David parish and Jesus Embassy
Parish. If you know those churches, you will
understand my point. And when I role with my
uncle (who stays in a neighbouring estate on lekki
expressway), you will think am one hell of an
Ajebota(Born with Silver spoon).

(Back to convo)
Me: Aiite Bro, but abeg you go borrow me that your
Christian Louboutin shoes oh! Which of d event
centres tho?
Asamoah: Ahaha! Charlie, I go bring Chucks for you
jare. And its at Micheal’s house. Him papa don
travel, e mama na soji woman”
Like seriously? How spoilt can these kids be? Na me
go get mind host party for my Papa house? Abi na
my mama go gree make I invite friends for party?
Well, as a comfirm Edo boy, I arranged, packaged
and ironed my characters.

Was about replying when MTN sent me a message
that I exhausted my MB(I wished they sent it
earlier!!!!!!), then I used the last 10naira to
message Asamoah.

“MB don finish oh Guy, abeg help me arrange any
greensprings girls.. I no wan carry classmates wey
dey on lowcut go dia fah. And when u come, shout
well well make my uncle wife hear you say “Today is
a special Xmas Eve hosted by the City Of David’s
Youth! Why you never bath?”. Charlie abeg no fall
my hands!! OUTTAHERE!”
Then I dropped my Nokia X2 asap, ran to do the
chores (Please if you are a married woman,
married to a wealthy man, don’t ever treat his
siblings/Family Badly. Abeg!!!) . Even with my
Uncle wife’s 3 sisters[Esther(22),Faith(18),Abigail
(16)] around, I still had to do the works, while they
behave like they started from the bottom with my
uncle. Hence, the reason I started calling myself
the Lekki Houseboy. Definitely not a cool
experience I tell you. Seeing your uncle being
controlled by some woman because her Dad is a
major contract provider, and ME, that came to chop
company money now being used as houseboy..
Chaiiii!