Episode 52
Why Brainbox was arrested was because he promised the Lady he would help her secure admission into Poly Nekede for the sum of 100k. He ate the Money and the lady never got âadâ, not to talk of âmissionâ.
Five weeks later.
I had reconciled my result, and in a month time, i would be posted for National service.
Since his roommate Bigie left, Tupac got another roommate. A she this time around. Her name was Kate. Yeah! The same Kate you know.
Kate had been frequenting Tupacâs room of lately. And when we asked Tupac, se would always answer us saying; âshe be my sister from another mother, i no fit do her anythingâ, just because He and Kate was from the same village.
âguy where you go like make them post you go?â I asked Snoop as we sat at Big boyz cutz one afternoon.
âguy i go like make them post me go Lagos ohâ Snoop answered.
âme sef ohâ I said.
âme i go like make them post me go Abuja ohâ Brainbox said.
âif to say Pkc no come bail you for station, you for dey hear dey talk say you go like make them post you go Abuja? Maybe na for Police station NYSC for post you goâ I told Brainbox.
âguys i happy for una oh, me i never know when i go wear NYSC khaki, i never even get admissionâ Man envied us.
âno worry God go do am for you, nahim make Pkc say make i teach you how to barb, so if all of us go service, you go dey barb dey get money wey you go use arrange yourself for schoolâ Snoop said.
âif you like make you use Talley dey barb peopleâ I almost said.
âwhat of Baba jay, him go go service?â I asked.
âyes na, him don clear for FUTO, na FUTO him go sefâ Brainbox answered.
âwhat of Pkc, him don clear for IMSU?â I asked the obvious.
âhim no wan go service na, him say na God work him wan do, na Church NYSC go post am goâ Man teased.
âwhat of Tega na?â I asked because i cared.
âhim don go Warri finally, abi you no know say them expel am since from Poly Nekedeâ Man informed.
âi no know ohâ I was shocked.
âthem expel him and Opopo because school security report them say them be cultistâ He added.
âbut why i no know all this things since na?â I asked.
âna because you no wan know naâ Snoop answered.
Being a cultist in the University wasnât for the lily livered. Cultist always called non-cultist âJew menâ.
All Jew men always graduate from school after Four years, but not all cultist ends up graduating, is a known fact.
Both cultist and Jew men are capable of spilling over. But only cultist are expelled. And the cultist that are expelled are the ones that always wear cultism as a crown where ever they go.
âeyah!! So na only Man and Pkc go dey if all of us goâ said Brainbox.
âand Pkc go dey sleep for house well well because our church wan open new parish for Nekede, and na Pkc go be the Pastor of the new parishâ Snoop informed.
âMan go be the Assistant Pastor naâ Brainbox teased.
âhow i go be Assistant Pastor, you want make the church scatter?â Man said.
If Man were to be the Assistant Pastor, it would had been awesome. He would heal the sick, and even raise the dead with the powers of his Talley.
For a long while, i had not fell sick. But as i sat in the Barberâs shop in the evening of the next day, i found out that i was sick. Medicine had no cure for the disease. That disease was Nostalgia.
As i thought of the fun memories ab initio i came to Uzommiri, i smiled.
We went to watch premiership football at a viewing centre down the road, and as we returned, we met Tupac at the gate.
âwhere my 5kâ He held My shirt and that of Brainbox.
âwhich 5k?â I was surprised.
âi owe you money, wetin be this one na?â Brainbox was getting pissed.
He left our shirts, with a bright smile all over his face.
âwhy you dey smile naâ I thought he was mad.
âhim don mad na, you no dey see as him dey smileâ Brainbox noticed.
âna your Papa dey madâ Tupac cursed.
He brought out his phone and said; âmake una come see somethingâ.
He showed us a picture on his phone of him ridding on Kate, he showed us another picture of Kate giving him a Bâ.low job, and the last but not the the least was a picture of him licking Kateâs Pâ.ussy.
He had won the bet.
He had fâ.ucked Kate. I envied him oh.
âoya make all of una go bring my 5k one by oneâ He spoke boldly.
âyou sure say them this picture na real?â Brainbox doubted.
âMumu!! person show you picture of when him dey wayah Kate, you dey ask whether na realâ Man said.
âhow you take snap the picture wey she no know say you dey snap herâ I needed to know.
âi be sharp guy na, i no let her know na, i use my handkerchief cover some part of the phone as i dey snap, and i silent the camera of the phone sefâ Tupac said.
A month later.
âBaba jay where them post you go?â I asked Baba jay who just entered the compound.
âna Abuja ohâ He answered.
âwhat of you?â He asked.
âguy na Osun state them post me go ohâ I put on a frown.
âna for which part of Nigeria Osun state dey sef?â Man foolishly asked.
âna for north Osun state deyâ I answered.
âFlow!! How you go say Osun state dey for northâ Baba jay said.
âleave Man make him dey ask nonesense question naâ I said.
âSnoop what of you, where them post you go?â Baba jay asked.
âna Oyo state them post me go ohâ Snoop answered with a frown as if Oyo state was Iraq.
âna Brainbox we dey wait for make we know where them post am goâ I said.
âwhy una no ask me where them post me go na?â Man teased.
âokay where them post you go?â I asked after we laughed for 5minutes non stop.
âna Big boys cutz them post me go naâ Man teased.
We all made a roof raising noise of laughter.
âbut i go miss una ohâ said Man.
âguy me sef go miss you oh, i go miss everybody ohâ I said.
Mehn!!! I savoured with nostalgia the fun memories ab initio i met my friends. I went through the good, the bad and the uâgly with them.
I also went through the Sugar baby, the L101, the chop biscuit, the chop sâhit, the rice and beans, the Ozommiri, the Talley, the Tupaco and Kpatalico with them.
Well, like the saying goes; âtwenty children can not play together for twenty yearâ.
âshebi na on tuesday camp go open?â Snoop asked.
âna on tuesday na, that is next tomorrowâ Baba jay answered.
âthat mean say all of una go move tomorrow morning be thatâ Man said.
âbut me go first reach Lagos oh, then by that tuesday morning i go from Lagos enter Osunâ I informed.
âyou don give Tupac him 5k for the bey-bey?â I asked Man.
Bey-bey means bet.
âi don give am oh, but na 4k i give am, i beg amâ He answered.
âme sef na 3k i give amâ I said.
âbut Tupac na comfirm womanizer oh, how him take wayah Kate, Kate wey no dey give us faceâ I said.
âmaybe him use touch and follow for herâ Man said.
âTouch and Followâ is a Talley for Love, or you can call it Love portion.
âand Kate don Love Tupac well well now ohâ Baba jay said.
True talk, Kate wasnât head over hills in Love with Tupac, she was head over mountains in Love with him.
âi go miss una ohâ Man said for the umpteenth time.
âi no know how this Nekede go dey for me without una ohâ He added.
âguy you and Tupac go dey run things na, and i hear say Bigie go soon come back to this Nekede, i hear say him don go beg the Buccaneer guys, so three of una go dey run thingsâ Snoop said.
Suddenly Brainbox staggered into the room.
âwhere you dey come from? and wetin you carry?â I asked.
I could percieve he was sâkunk drunk.
âi dey come from school na?â He answered.
âwhere them post you go naâ I further asked him.
âomoh! Na Taraba ohâ He answered.
âwhere be Taraba?â I thought Taraba was in either Niger Republic or Sudan.
âi no know where Taraba dey ohâ He answered.
âguy you no know where them post you go, how you go take go na? You go lost ohâ Snoop warned.
âi no go lost, na Plane i go enter goâ Brainbox said that because he was drunk. And we laughed.
âna your type dey enter plane? no be person wey don chop belle full dey enter Planeâ said Man.
âwetin you carry for nylon bag sef?â Man asked.
âna my call up letter and Alomoâ Brainbox still held the nylon bag firmly.
âwetin be Alomo na?â I asked.
âna one paper wey you go show them when you reach campâ Brainbox replied.
âehenn!! Them no give me any Alomo paper ohâ Snoop said.
âme sef ohâ said Baba jay.
âme sef oh, Brainbox show us the paper make we see how e be naâ I waited patiently, then he handed the nylon bag to me.
I opened the nylon bag, and saw a bottle of a drink and his call up letter. His call up letter was practically swimming in a pool of the liquid that smelt acoholic. I raised the bottle and on it was written âKasapreko Alomo Bittersâ. That was when it dawned on me that the Alomo Brainbox was talking of was a drink and not a paper.
âMumu! Your call up letter don soak for Alomoâ I said.
The Alomo really damaged his call up letter. The call up letter that was supposed to be green in colour turned blue.
âthis Alomo na correct drink ohâ Man said as he drank the Alomo in the nylon bag, he almost drank Brainboxâs call up letter too.
We drank several bottles of Alomo that night. That was the first day i drank that brand. (una don forget wetin Alomo do me for âIbo boy wey like Yorubaâ?)
We prayed for about 2hours early the next morning. Serious prayers for our NYSC year. After the prayer, Pkc preached to us.
I almost cried as i logged out of Nekede, and Owerri.
Leaving âMAN WEY DEY REASONâ behind.
THE END.
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