Episode 18
I was hearing heavy bâanging at the doors of Kate and Papa Ejima. The robbers were much.
They were much, but only two of them entered our room. They looked more like masquerades with the black mask on their faces. Their torch light gave the room a glow, as if the Moon was in our room. The name of one of them was MOPO, while the name of the other one was MOPO. Maybe that was their code name, or maybe not.
Maybe it meant Mobile Police. Or maybe it was an acronym for âMobile Oleh and Pilferers Organisationâ.
âif i catch any of una look up ehnnâ One of the MOPO warned. As i lay facing the floor, i was dancing âMakossaâ to the âdrum beatsâ Baba jayâs non stop fart was playing.
I wasnât the only one dancing Makossa, we were all dancing in fear as we lay facing the floor.
âcommon! Stop to dey mess!! before i use dis gun shot your nâyashâ MOPO yelled hiting Baba jay on the aâss with the flat side of a cutlass. The fart stopped, but we were still dancing. Shaking as if we were having sâex with the floor.
âwhere una money dey?â MOPO yelled, âoga MOPO, we be poor boys, we no get money ohâ Man said.
âwe know say una no get money, we no come for una sef, we come for another thingâ MOPO said. Only God knew what he was talking of.
âok, who get dis watch and necklaceâ MOPO was talking of the watch and necklace on the table, âna dis boy here, him name na Tegaâ Snoop said, âu dey mad! Oga MOPO no be my own oh, na him ownâ Tega refused ownership of his properties, âna your own! na your own! Na your own jor!â was the argument that ensued between Tega and Snoop. âshut up!!â MOPO brought the argument to a stop.
âMOPO dem cook better soup with plenty meat oh, Eba even dey sefâ the other MOPO informed his friend. âehen, bring am make we chop naâ the other MOPO replied. He was talking of the Eba we kept for Pkc, incase he returned.
Talking of Pkc, he was hardly around when trouble came. Or was God watching over âHis ownâ Pkc. I too could be reffered to as âHis ownâ, His own that had gone astray, like the lost sheep. Or so i tot
âMOPO! Them dis guys get fine fine shoe ohâ MOPO informed his friend. âpack all the shoe na!â the other MOPO commanded. âwetin we go dey wear naâ i almost said, as i heard MOPO bagging our shoes.
âu dey look our face abi? Stand up!! You!!â i tot the MOPO was talking to me. He was actually talking to Man.
âpack all una phone put for nylon, and give meâ MOPO said to Man after giving him a deafening slap. âwetin be ur name sef?â the other MOPO asked Man. âmy name na MAN, my papa name na WEY DEY REASONâ Man said. Maybe the slap had turned his brain up side down, maybe.
On hearing how Man introduced himself, i mistakenly laughed, âwho laugh?â MOPO queried. âna dis boy laughâ Man tapped me.
At that moment, i felt poo running down my bowel, âi don die todayâ i tot. âstand up!!â MOPO ordered. As i stood up, i heard, âgboooooaaaaaar!!â it was a gunshot, i tot i had been shot. I felt my heart fall off my chest. The next noise i heard was someome crying bitterly, that was when i realized i wasnât the one shot. It was someone else, someone not even in our room.
âMOPO!! MOPO!! We don kill am, make we dey goâ i heard a voice outside informing the two MOPO in our room, and they quickly left.
What i couldnât tell, was who they had killed.
For 30minutes, we continued having sâex with the floor, i even had a hâard on.
The person the robbers shot was still crying bitterly in distress, his/her voice was gradually diminishing, as if He not She was crying the last cry of life. âHeâ because it was a male voice. But who could it be?
âFlow! Flow!!â i heard Bigie called from outside. âFlow! Brainbox!! Make una come out, dem don goâ i heard Tupacâs voice. I was convinced it wasnât Tupac neither was it Bigie that was shot.
We came outside to meet a friend called âMayhemâ.
Mayhelm everywhere, âmake una help oh!!â i heard a voice cried from the gate side, where Harunaâs cubicle was. âhelp oh!! Help me oh Chief is dying, Help oh!â Kate ran out of her room shouting. We divided ourselves. I, Brainbox and Man headed for Harunaâs house, while the rest went into Kateâs room to see what went wrong.
We got to Harunaâs room to meet a funny scene. Very funny!!
Haruna was tied to his wife with a rope. They were tied facing each other as if they were having sâex, and Haruna was fitgety as if he was giving it real hard to his wife. I couldnât help but laughed. âu dey laugh abi? Abeg make una lose dis rope comot for my body make i go shot those thief with my arrowâ Haruna said. âwhy you no shot dem when dem dey tie you rope, na now wey dem don go u wan shot dem arrow?â Man said.
As Brainbox and Man was untying Haruna and Nkiru, i saw something on the floor, it looked like a roll of money.
Yes! It was money, i quickly picked it and pretended as if nothing happened. I was happy i would have the whole money to myself since nobody saw me picking it, so i tot.
After we had left Harunaâs room, immediately we stepped out, i saw what made me paused. My heart also paused.
Chief was carried outside, the same Chief that gave us money the other day. He was so fâat that Snoop, Bigie, Tupac, Tega and Kate was finding it difficult to carry him. He had been shot in the chest. A big hole was in his chest.
Althrough my school years, i had been seeing people shot in the leg or arm. But, that was the first time i saw someone shot in the chest. Omoh! No be film trick oh! No be super story! Na real.
My dirty mind swayed to something dangling in between Chiefâs Boxers. His dâick and his sâcrotum was very big as if he had Elephantiasis of the sâcrotum. It seemed he was about having sâex with Kate when the robbers or rather the Killers came. His dâick was rock hard. As if it was saying, âgive me kpormoh! I want kpormoh!â. I wanted to laugh, but i dared not, because that was the wrong time to laugh. So i smiled.
I swayed my mind to the âkpormohâ area. The W shape in between Kateâs leg. The leggings she was wearing revealed the shape of her fleshy Honey well. My dâick responded to the stimuli. Mehn! I felt droplets of something coming out of my pâenis, as if i was having premature eâjaculation.
âmake una put am for motorâ Man who was already at the drivers seat of Chiefâs big Jeep said.
They all managed to enter the Jeep except I and Brainbox.
âwhy you dey smile?â Brainbox asked me, âno oh, i no dey smile, naso my face dey be if i wan cryâ I responded changing my face gloomy.
âwhere the money wey u pick for Haruna roomâ Brainbox said as we got close to our room.
Oh my God!! How come he saw me picked the money. Maybe he had an invisible eye behind his head. BRAINBOX!!!
Darkness gradually turned to light.
After i gave Brainbox his share of the Money. I suddenly heard someone crying in Papa Ejimaâs room. I and Brainbow rushed in to meet Mama Ejima crying.
âwhat happen na?â I asked Papa Ejima who wore a gloomy face. âabi u don use blow finish ur wife face? Ehnn Mr Mike tyson?â I almost said to him.
âMOPO beat my Mummyâ Daniel replied. âhow MOPO go beat your Mummy, wey ur Daddy wey be Boxer dey here, abi MOPO use that cane wey dey for center of him two leg take flog ur Mummy?â I almost told Daniel.
âMOPO was doing like dis on top of my Mummyâ David said demonstrating what i interpreted as Fâucking. His Mummy had been Fâucked or rather râaped by MOPO. Gallant MOPO.
âbut dis MOPO dem wicked oh, see as dem râape dis fine woman, and her children dey look as dem dey râape their Mama, chei!! And i dey die for Mama Ejima ohâ I tot.
I looked at Papa Ejima with pity and said, âshebi u wan kill Brainbox with heavy blow because him look your wife as she dey baf, why you no blow them the MOPO?â I never said that oh!!, my mind said it, i wan die? Unless i was Mohammed Ali that could stand the killer Punch of Papa Ejima.
âMama Ejima, stop to dey cry, naso God want amâ Brainbox consoled. What a way to console a râape Victim. I never knew my âcondolenceâ would be worse than that of Brainbox.
âMama Ejima, no cry. God wey put that kpormor there, no talk say na only Papa Ejima go dey chop am, sometimes e dey good make another person chop small of the kpormorâ I couldnât tell the kind of Devil that brought those words out of my mouth.
Before i finished saying the râubbish, Papa Ejima chased I and Brainbox out of his house.
As we ran outside with so great a speed, i accidentally hit my leg on a stone on the floor.
And i fell.
âGod pls! If Papa Ejima go blow me, make e no be for my chest, make e be for my face. No, make e no be for my face, make e be for my legâ I was praying to God as i lay with my face to the ground. How on earth would Papa Ejima find nowhere perfect enough to give me a punch but my leg. Was that possible?
I turned to see if Papa Ejima was still chasing us. He had since stopped and had gone back to his room to nurse his wound. The wound that his âbeloved wifeâ had been râaped.
I thanked my stars.
Uâgly events were unfolding like Domino effect.
Our world was gradually crashing, so i tot
Man and the rest came back with the Jeep, without Chief.
Chief had kicked the bucket.
The other guys wore gloomy faces, but Kate was crying.
She had lost her Lover.
âbut who go kill this good man na?â i asked myself. Maybe one of his political opponents wanted him dead. Maybe he had stepped on toes. But one question i felt like asking was why Chief came alone without his bodyguards. If only the dead could speak.
Kate was almost crying her eyes out, so i went to hold her, to give her my shoulders to cry on. As i held her close to my body, a tingling sÂŁnsat!on ran from my head to my John thomas.
A sÂŁnsat!on i was enjoying. So i gradually moved my hand to her aâss, i knew she wouldnât complain, so i fâondled it. Mehn! It was soft, and it bounced like a ballon. A fully inflated ballon.
âKate donât cry again, God gives and God takesâ I consoled with my hand still on her aâss. As if it was her aâss i was consoling not her.
I tot nobody saw my hand behind. I was wrong, the ever sharp Brainbox say it and winked at me. I winked back.
Just when we said we had drank Wahala to Stupor, wahala came.
âif una no buy my fowl back before tomorrow, all of una go run madâ Haruna who just walked in threatened.
Empty threat. Or so i tot.
Not until he brought out fetish feathers stained with blood.
âUna see dis feather, na the feather of the Fowl wey una chop. I don carry am go Babalawo place, him say if una no confess before tomorrow, all of una go run madâ Haruna threatened.
This time i was convinced it wasnât an empty threat, but a full threat.
I was ready to confess instantly, but the problem was that was my friends ready to confess?
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