My Instagram Love

Episode 26

Depression is something I used to picture as a myth—as if it never really exists in real life until I got served an unfair share out of it, and my world gradually turned upside down. Though there were frequent sunsets in reality, all I could see was darkness in my mind. The aftereffect of Tunde’s rejection was getting to me more faster and harder than I could ever imagine.

At this point in time, I agreed with the cliché saying which emphasizes on the basic fact that ‘not all that glitters is gold.’ Whosoever formed this particular adage must’ve been through hell like I have. I couldn’t agree more with their logical view of life!

Suicidal thoughts soon enveloped the better half of my mind and became my new best friend. Whenever a new day arises, all I could think about is rejection and negativity. When it gets to midday, regret and self pity always takes over from where the ‘others’ stopped. In the evening, an avalanche of tears would switch sides with their ‘colleagues’, which are the aforementioned regret and self pity. Finally, at midnight, suicidal thoughts would wine and dine with me as though we have been long-term friends. When another day arises, the cycle repeats itself—over and over again.

I was sitting on my bed, wallowing in self pity, when the alarm on my wristwatch went off at 3:30 AM. Although I wasn’t wearing it at the moment, it was just so close to me, precisely on the bedstead. I was the one who had set it to go off at this particular time. I barely even noticed that time was far spent until I glanced at the wall clock and confirmed it, then I sighed a sigh that was nearly a groan.
Alas, the time had come for me to execute my plan. I knew that if I did what I had in mind, there would be no going back from the action, and I was quite prepared to face the music all alone. It was now or never. I had to do it and get it over with in time.

As I opened my mouth to swallow the substance in my hand, something crossed my mind and I had to pause to think about it for a while. After giving it a good thought, I decided to get it done first and then continue with what I was about to do.

Sighing heavily, I picked up the laptop from the stool which was only inches away from my bed, then I placed it on my thighs, made a few clicks on the keyboard and logged into my Instagram account in no time. First and foremost, I searched for Prince_Charming_In_Wonderland. In less than three seconds, his handle popped up and I clicked on his profile in a flash. Fortunately, he hadn’t blocked me yet, which gave me a lot of relief and great zeal to proceed further. Unfortunately, his ‘status indicator’ still showed offline just the same way it had been since three days but I wasn’t going to let that disrupt the thrilling idea I had planned to execute.