My Instagram Love

Episode 48

“A laptop?” I gasped, continuously blinking my eyes in disbelief. “A freaking Apple laptop! Oh my gosh!”

Kennedy couldn’t control his laughter as he kept on staring at my face and observing my awkward reaction. I knew I looked ridiculous because of the facial expression I was wearing, but I couldn’t help it at all. I was surprised and so excited because of the small brown tape that was glued on the surface of the laptop, which reads: ‘For you, dear Lola.’

“Did you buy this for me?” I asked, admiring the neatness of the gadget which looked too good to be true. “It seems to be new. As a matter of fact, it’s very new and clean.”

“First of all, no, I brought it for you, but I didn’t buy it with my money.” Kennedy answered, gesticulating with his thin hands the same way a skilled rapper does on a high stage. “I won it as a reward for a project that I did for a big company, which was around April or May last year. They loved my work, paid me handsomely and gave me this sweetheart here as a parting gift. Do you like it?”

“Like it?” I quoted, opening my mouth dramatically. “Dude, I love it! I love it so, so, soooo much! But how’s it this easy for you to give it out to someone you barely even know?”

“Because that someone deserves it.” He replied, now smiling. “I know you’re a student, and I know you’ve been sharing a laptop with your mother for a while, so I feel it’s best if you have yours that you could use at your convenience. Or what do you think?”
“Sure. That’s very thoughtful of you.” I agreed, nodding. “And I can see that my best friend has been feeding you a lot of information about me lately. How’s that even possible? She’s like my guardian angel! Who would’ve thought she’d stab me in the back this way.”

“Stab you in the back?” Ken giggled, shaking his head in a rather dramatic manner. “You’ve quickly concluded that she stabbed you in the back just because I asked her for some details about you and she told me the truth? Come on, don’t be a killjoy. You should know we both have no ulterior motives against you, beautiful.”
The last word he said reminded me of my former Instagram friend, Orji Tundechukwu, also known as ‘the ladies man.’ Beautiful was the exact word he was fond of using to address me, especially during our online chats. Too bad he turned out to be the actual definition of a scumbag rather than the perfect gentleman I thought he was.
I literally shoved the thought of him all the way down to my rectum so that I wouldn’t get distracted from the awesome conversation I was having with my new cool friend, Kennedy.

“In all honesty, Ken, I don’t even know what to say or how to thank you enough.” I said, putting the laptop back into the multicolored nylon, then I dropped it gently on the center table and entwined my hands like an anointed minister of God does during a prayer session. “All I can do is bless the name of the Lord for opening your heart to see the good side of me, and for making you feel the need to do me a favor this way. I pray that as you’ve remembered me during this difficult phase of my life, so shall you be remembered by your destiny helpers in difficult times! Amen.”

“Amen, Prophetess Deola! Amen, amen, and a bigger amen! I tap into your grace, ma.” Kennedy’s voice almost shattered the glasses of our windows and deactivated the active appliances in the house, due to its loudness. He even raised his hands up and added: “I receive it!”
“Stop shouting! Geez!” I placed a hand on my chest, laughing hysterically. I wanted to say something in addition when my eyes darted towards Kaila’s direction. Judging by the odd facial expression and the way she was stretching under the dining table, I could tell she just woke up from her well-deserved sleep and wasn’t pleased with the noise we were both making in the living room. I instantly tapped Ken’s thigh and gestured with my eyes for him to see what I was looking at.

“Why’re you rolling your eyes?” Ken asked, confused. “Are you possessed?”
I sighed. “Look under the table. See, you just woke my cat.” I explained. “And she’s coming here. You’re in big trouble!”
“Wait, what?” Kennedy’s eyes averted from my face to the p—y-cat’s position, and his face that was once filled with smiles and laughter was now masked with a frown. I could’ve sworn he was on the verge of pissing his pants when he said: “Lola, so you people have witchcraft powers living with you in this house! Impossible!”
At this point in time, I couldn’t even tell if I was laughing or crying because the more I laughed, the more tears of joy filled my eyes. “Ken, don’t tell me you’re scared of a common cat. Are you?”
He nodded in the affirmative. “Look, I can cope with rats, dogs, frogs, rabbits, mosquitoes and even serpents and scorpions. But you see these things called cats – they’re my worst enemies. I just don’t like them at all, and I’m sure they don’t like me either, ’cause I always chase them away with big, long sticks whenever I see one.”