My Instagram Love

Episode 50

I wanted us to go to the nearest soccer field so that we could chill and feed our eyes, but Kennedy didn’t agree with my suggestion. I was amazed by his response. I used to have the mentality that all men were soccer addicts, but Ken’s case was so different. He insisted that we should go into the close-by playground instead. Left with no plausible alternative, I agreed at last, walking ahead of him and stopping from time to time just to sip my yoghurt and chew my cake. Ken noticed the way I was eating the snack, then he laughed to his satisfaction, and told me to stop feigning elegance just to please him. He assumed I was ‘forming’ to have the same qualities of a cultured princess who was born and bred in a royal palace so that he’d be impressed with me. I just hissed at his shallow remark and elbowed him again before I explained the dos and don’ts of my habits, one of which included eating decently without making unnecessary sounds that could be a form of inconvenience to other people. Even when I used to chew bubblegum in the past, I made sure I didn’t blow and pop bubbles because it looked like child’s play and utter stupidity to me. Despite everything I said, he still wasn’t convinced by my explanation. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument. All I did was to roll my eyes, sigh and continue eating my cake in a leisurely manner. Arguing with someone like Kennedy was a total waste of time. He’d always be the same doubting Thomas no matter how hard one tried to make him see the light, and I just didn’t happen to be in the mood for anybody’s negative energy today.

At long last, we got to the playground and sat on a particular bench that was under the shade of a canopy. There were lots of children in the large open space, playing with each other. Some were with their parents and some came with their older sisters and brothers. Others were alone but weren’t lonely, because there were a lot of friendly kids, swings and slides for them to play with if they wanted to. The serenity of the atmosphere was the best one I’d seen and felt in a while. I was at peace with my conscience, knowing I had the rare privilege of breathing, eating and drinking again after what I had foolishly attempted the previous week.

“Is everything okay?”
I was jolted out of my reverie by Ken’s question. After blinking and taking deep breaths, I answered softly: “Yeah. Sure. I’m good! Why?”
“Your facial expression.” He muttered, chewing a chip of fried potato as if he hadn’t eaten in years. “It’s quite blue. What’s eating you up? Anything at all you might like to share with me?”
“I wish…” I mumbled, pursing my lips, finding it hard to form coherent words, “…you know. I mean…”
“What’s on your mind, Lola? Tell me. I’m listening.”

I had a brief mental debate about whether or not to speak, before settling for the positive side at last. After eating the last piece of chocolate cake in the nylon, I dropped the yoghurt on the bench, took another deep breath, exhaled and started to explain:
“I just can’t believe I’m still alive, though.” I started off with a low tone, fiddling with my fingernails again, staring into thin air. “I should have died. You know?”
“Hey, shush!” Ken’s soft voice reproved me at once. “Don’t say that, dear. Look around you, if anything, you should be grateful for having the chance to witness another day like this one. Stop catching negative vibes and embrace positivity, darling. It’ll do you more good. I can assure you that!”

“It’s easy for you to say, since you haven’t lost a limb before. Don’t you think?”
“Look here.” He said with a quick but gentle tap on my shoulder. “Look at me, Lola.”

Like a mindless puppet, I obeyed. I was curious to know what exactly he had in his mind.

“If I were you I’d be grateful for the sufficient grace I have.” He said, leaving his hand on my shoulder. “Compared to the beggars on the streets, you’re quite blessed beyond what mere words can express. At least, you have a roof over you head. You eat good food, which I’m sure is like three square meals per day, ’cause you look so healthy to me. You’ve got a loving family that takes you for who you are. You also have a best friend who always has your back in difficult times. I mean, Lola, what more could anybody ask for? Count your blessings for once! Learn to see the truth about yourself!”
“What truth?” I asked, furrowing my brows, confused. “You’re making it sound like it’s so easy. See, you have no idea of what I’ve been through in life! You don’t even know me too well. You believe that if–”